a speckled bird

ENFP confessions: a few times Myers & Briggs was too insanely on point for me to deny it’s legitimacy.

ellehoule:

As a friend?

The excitable yet surprisingly insightful one who subtly gives you a pep talk every time you hang out.

If they like you?

Teases you mercilessly and uncharacteristically does not flake on any of your plans.

Mental age?

21. No matter how old you become, you maintain the drive, enthusiasm and passion of someone who is just coming into his or her own. You are young at heart but old in spirit.

Top relationship deal breakers?

Having limits placed on their freedom. ENFPs have big visions of what they want to experience in life- and they aren’t interested in discarding those visions for anyone else. Though they’re happy to accommodate and incorporate a partner into their lives, they have no interest in a relationship that is going to hold them back- they need an open-minded partner who is happy to explore and adventure their way through life together.

Personal definition of hell?

Every minute of the rest of your life has been scheduled for you- and it’s a long series of arbitrary, solitary tasks.

A few personalized struggles?

1. Getting your energy from social interaction, but disliking superficial conversations. Yes, I want to go to a party tonight. But a party full of contemplative people who want to alternate between taking shots and discussing the meaning of life.

2. Being very socially conscious but also fiercely individualistic. This means always wanting to fit in with a group, but never wanting to compromise your personality to do so.

3. Regularly forgetting that your physical needs exist.

4. Everyone thinking you’re flirting with them, all of the time.

5. Others being surprised that you hold such strong opinions and beliefs, despite your easy-going nature.

6. Constantly contradicting yourself because you genuinely see multiple sides to most situations.

7. People thinking you’re looking for advice when you simply need to process things out loud.

8. Staying in bad relationships because you focus on how things COULD be rather than how they are.

9. People underestimating your intelligence because you lead with the fun, upbeat parts of your personality.

10. Wanting to be alone… but like, with other people nearby.

Common misconceptions?

1. ENFPs are go-with-the-flow

When we don’t care about something, we don’t care all the way. If we’ve decided that material possessions don’t matter much to us, you could come into our house, accidentally smash all of our plates and we’d be all, “Hey don’t worry about it! Who needs plates to be happy? Not me!” But when it comes to our goals and desires, we are the least chill people imaginable. Everything this type does is deliberate, no matter how off-the-cuff is appears to be.

2. ENFPs are commitment-phobes

We’re not always quick to jump into serious relationships, but this is more often an issue of compatibility than one of commitment. ENFPs connect relatively quickly with most people. But they want more than a surface-level connection and a few common interests: they are searching for a specific, intense relationship that both challenges and grows them. If they find this, they are ALL IN. If not, the horizons are still being scanned for what else is out there. With goals, plans and relationships alike, ENFPs are in all the way or not at all.

3. ENFPs are always happy

We hold the pervasive belief that there is always something left to look forward to. This does not at all translate to constant happiness. Though this type gives off a light-hearted, fun-loving air, they actually take life quite seriously. We feel our lows just as intensely as we feel our highs- we just aren’t as comfortable expressing negative emotion as we are positive.

4. ENFPs are promiscuous

ENFPs are known for being notorious flirts and highly sexually active, neither of which entirely holds true. While they are generally quite liberal in their values (sexual and otherwise), they get off on emotional connection. Literally. We don’t enjoy meaningless sex and have to feel connected to our partner in some way in order to enjoy the act.

5. ENFPs are highly sensitive to criticism

We have a select number of people whose input we hold in high esteem. If you’re on that list, we take your criticism to heart in a huge way. If you’re not on the list, we could not care less what you have to say. Introverted feeling is very particular in this sense. If we respect you, your input matters. If not, what you say gets brushed off and we move forward.

EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. truth.